ebookland Chapter 491 1 Pink Top Black
Chapter 491 1 Pink Top Black
【Hahahahaha】
[This is absolutely hilarious, everyone!]
[Guess why the paparazzi spent three months staking out Yanzi and still couldn't find any scandals about her/heart]
Hey girl, take my advice: a man who swings on vines, leaps through trees, squeals wildly, crawls around like crickets on the ground, and opens doorknobs with his mouth on variety shows—I'd rather believe he likes monkeys than that he likes women.
...
Gu Yan nodded shamelessly.
Shen Renran's lips trembled, and she wanted to say something several times, but she held back because of the camera.
The Taoist priest, never one to shy away from a good show, fanned the flames, saying:
"Young friend Shen, did you pick your husband out of a garbage dump? How can you be so insensitive to women?"
The word "husband" awakened Shen Renran.
No matter how straight or eccentric Gu Yan is, he is now her husband.
Moreover, he is a genuine top star, and it's rare to have the opportunity to appear in the same frame as him, especially since it's a potential CP (couple pairing).
Don't women who enter marriage in real life also suffer from their husbands' tempers?
Moreover, many people don't even get any benefits.
Now, every bit of humiliation she suffers can be converted into compensation for emotional distress, which lies in her bank account balance!
Having figured this out, Shen Renran quickly adjusted her mindset and said softly:
"The Taoist priest only bullies my husband, unlike me, I only feel sorry for him~"
Taoist priest:?
Girl, I wouldn't even dare to hear you say such disgusting words!
Shen Renran turned and glanced at Gu Yan, revealing a poignant smile:
"Honey, if anything happens to me, you must take good care of yourself..."
Gu Yan: ?
Girl, it's just a variety show, why are you taking it so seriously and playing with abstract concepts?
Shen Renran resolutely lay down in the coffin without hesitation!
The mechanism activated, and the coffin lid slowly closed.
The coffin was pitch black.
Even with her strong mental fortitude, Shen Renran's palms were slightly sweaty at this moment.
She could vaguely hear conversations outside the coffin—
The Taoist priest flicked his whisk, cleared his throat, and said:
"My good disciple, today I will teach you a unique Taoist technique: the Soul-Summoning Banner."
"As long as you stick this talisman on the coffin, your wife will turn into a pool of blood."
"By sacrificing your wife to the heavens, you will gain boundless power! At that time, no ghost or spirit in this secret chamber will be able to harm you..."
Gu Yan replied without hesitation, "Thank you, Master!"
The Taoist priest nodded in satisfaction: "He truly is my good disciple."
The live chat exploded with comments.
Holy crap, even though I know it's part of the story, this is just too heartbreaking!
[Poor Renran, Gu Yan, if you dare to sacrifice her, I will become your hater!]
Am I the only one who finds this satisfying? Haven't you seen the classic "wife-chasing-after-the-cremation" trope? The more agonizing the beginning, the more satisfying it is when the wife begs for forgiveness and tries to win him back!
Shen Renran's fans launched a fierce attack on Gu Yan.
Gu Yan's fans, however, remained calm and even had the mood to make jokes.
Can haters be as devoted as our true fans who hate them?
Yes, our true fans are worth ten haters!
We not only spread rumors, we also fabricate rumors about our own idols!
[Where do you think Yanzi's ugly photos, silly videos, and funny memes come from? Of course, they're all handmade by our fans! /doge]
...
Shen fans: Is this correct??
The Taoist priest handed the talisman to Gu Yan: "Go, my good disciple, and finish this quickly."
As if to match the current plot, the coffin began to shake violently.
Shen Renran inside screamed in fright.
When people are in a dark, enclosed space, they are bound to have wild thoughts.
Moreover, the unknown is the most terrifying thing; no one knows what traps might appear in the next second.
Shen Renran pounded on the coffin lid above her head: "Let me out! Let me out!"
The Taoist priest added fuel to the fire: "My good disciple, the more terrified and miserable she is, the stronger the vengeful spirit she becomes. If you trap her in the soul-summoning banner, you can enslave and oppress her for all eternity."
Gu Yan raised an eyebrow: "Really? Where's the soul-summoning banner?"
"You put on the talisman first, then I'll give it to you."
"Give it to me first, then I'll put on the talisman."
The two stared at each other for a long time before the Taoist priest reluctantly took out a small soul-summoning banner from his robes.
"Your master has given you all his most treasured possessions, so why don't you kneel down and kowtow three times!" the Taoist priest said in a drawn-out voice.
[Haha, the NPCs reacted so quickly!]
[The Taoist priest really knows how to have fun! He plays with the inkstone like he's playing with a dog.]
[You're all celebrating too soon. I think the Taoist priest's gotten too cocky; he has no idea what a terrifying being he's facing...]
...
as predicted.
While shouting "Master above, please accept my bow," Gu Yan jumped up and slapped the talisman onto the Taoist priest's forehead!
Taoist priest:?
Production team: ?
When they saw this scene, everyone's mind went blank!
This is a reversal of the Heavenly Ranks! This is a reversal of the Heavenly Ranks!
In the past, when players entered this secret room and triggered this storyline, some male players killed their wives to prove their path, some gentlemanly lay down inside themselves, and some lay down inside with their wives, seemingly inseparable...
Who would have thought that someone would turn around and kill their own master?
The Taoist priest looked completely bewildered.
According to the setting, he should have turned into a pool of blood by now.
But there's a mechanism inside the coffin that drips red paint out.
How could a perfectly healthy person just vanish into thin air, leaving behind only a pool of blood?
Even short dramas wouldn't dare to portray something this explosive!
Gu Yan calmly said, "Master, is this a counterfeit or substandard product?"
The Taoist priest's lips twitched slightly, and he quickly picked up the act: "Haha, my chosen disciple is indeed exceptionally intelligent! That was just a test for you, but unfortunately you failed..."
"In that case, I'll have to do it for you!"
He rushed forward and affixed the talisman to the coffin!
The machine is activated!
The coffin kept shaking.
Once the storm had passed, the Taoist priest lifted the coffin, only to find it empty!
Only a large expanse of spreading red liquid!
"My good disciple, I have already refined your wife into your soul-summoning banner! You're welcome!"
"Old Deng, how about you pay me some money?"
Taoist priest:? ? ?
"I'm doing this for your own good, and you're asking me to pay you back?"
"Then you can give me a new wife instead," Gu Yan said shamelessly. "Give me your wife!"
Taoist Priest: !!!
Why are you just like that little brat, stabbing me wherever it hurts!
After a struggle, the Taoist priest, unable to bear the disturbance any longer, had no choice but to hand the lantern to Gu Yan.
"With this item present, all ghosts will be driven away."
"Brother, that's a true friend." Gu Yan put his arm around the Taoist priest's shoulder. "Let's go back."
What did you call me?
"Hey bro. What's wrong? You don't like it? Then I'll just call you Old Deng again."
You should call me teacher or master!
Gu Yan pondered for a moment.
A moment later, Gu Yan shoved the Taoist priest's head into the coffin, his buttocks still sticking out in the air, and his screams could be heard throughout the entire village.
"Brother! No, no, no, can't I just call you Master?!"
Director Chu from the "Who's the Murderer" program rubbed his face, feeling numb, and looked at Director Cui, who was leisurely drinking tea to the side:
"Director Cui, do the guests support a seven-day no-questions-asked return policy?"