ebookland Chapter 332 The Skinny, Iron-Willed Hyena Legion
Chapter 332 The Skinny, Iron-Willed Hyena Legion
"Hehe, of course—I don't believe it! In March of 759, when spring had just arrived and the flowers hadn't yet woken up, Shi Siming revealed his sharp teeth! He put An Lushan's son, An Qingxu, into a deep sleep forever... Si Zi carefully chose his words and whispered... Not long after, a black, lean hyena whirlwind swept back to the old lair of Fanyang with a whoosh."
By April, the greedy hyena head donned a cloak sewn from dark clouds and lightning, proclaiming himself "Emperor of the Great Yan"! He loudly proclaimed, "This is my time! I hereby change the era name to Shuntian!" Listen to that—how majestic! How terrifying!
"In September of the same year, when the autumn leaves turned yellow, this new 'Iron-Lean Hyena Emperor' led his countless 'Iron-Lean Hyenas' southward like locusts! They crashed open the gates of 'Bianzhou,' which is Kaifeng in the future world, and then crushed the beautiful 'Peony City,' Luoyang, with a crash! The entire kingdom trembled under his iron hooves!"
"Time galloped on, and it was February 761. Shi Siming defeated the brave General Li Guangbi again in a place called 'Mangshan' northwest of Luoyang! This time, even the king and ministers in the palace were so frightened that they huddled together and quickly piled up soldiers and shields behind the pass that looked like three mountains guarding it in 'Shanzhou', which is west of Sanmenxia, and built a high wall of nuts!"
"But this terrifying 'Iron-Thin Hyena Emperor' harbored a little secret," Si Zi said mysteriously. "Like all biased fathers, he especially doted on his youngest son, Shi Chaoqing, and wanted to secretly give him the sweetest honey—the little 'Crown Prince' crown. So, he ordered his eldest son, Shi Chaoyi: 'Go! Crack open that hard walnut in Shanzhou!' And what happened? Shi Chaoyi led his 'Iron-Thin Hyena Legion' and rammed and rammed, getting bumps all over their heads but still failing to crack it!"
Si Zi made a comical gesture of banging his head against the wall. "In this March, just as the flowers were beginning to smile, the darkest night descended... His eldest son, Shi Chaoyi, whom his father disliked, and several of his equally dissatisfied 'Iron-Lean Hyena' generals, quietly, quietly... like the most poisonous vines, entangled this arrogant 'Iron Ant Emperor'... Shi Siming, this name that made the earth weep, disappeared into the night."
Si Zi sighed deeply, adjusting her rainbow-colored bib and scarf: "Yes, yes, this terrible storm of 'Black Cloak and Iron-Lean Hyena,' which began with An Lushan and ended with Shi Siming, lasted a full eight years! Eight years of raging storms! It burned the once beautiful Tang Dynasty, like a spring garden, to a charred wasteland..."
The people of the north, like startled birds, fluttered and flew in flocks to the warm south in search of a new home. The kingdom's sweetest treasures—its wealth and food—also followed the birds' wings, 'whooshing' southwards...
Sizi gently patted her small, tender hands. The night breeze stirred the candlelight, casting a moonlit tenderness in her eyes. She tilted her head, gazing at the deepening twilight outside the window, her sigh like a falling ginkgo leaf:
"Alright, that concludes this bedtime story filled with thunder and vines. Remember—even the brightest light, if misdirected, will eventually crumble in the darkness. Like that tree struck by lightning, even if it stands as a monument covered in cracks, its complete rings will never be found again!"
She curled up and burrowed into the brocade quilt embroidered with cloud patterns, only her eyes, bright as morning stars, peeking out: "Now, save your ears for the nightingale's lullaby! May your dream boxes be filled with frosted pastries sprinkled with stardust, and may every dream have a silver-armored knight holding a candle to keep away all the dark shadows that creep into your pillow. Goodnight, my little moon darlings~"
As the setting sun was devoured by the little tiger with a "whoosh," Si Zi found a glowing sandalwood box in a Hu merchant's shop! The old Hu merchant, waving his white beard, performed a magic trick: "A Tang Dynasty-style blind box from Persia! Open one and you can stick it with your Tang Dynasty ancestors!"
"Whoosh!" Wu Xiaosi's blind box exploded with golden light! The Vairocana Buddha inside the box squinted and chuckled, while Si Zi pulled a riddle slip from the Buddha's robe pocket: "Guess what words the Empress used to string the sun and moon into candied hawthorns?" The love poem on the back even smelled of frosting—it turns out that the super fierce Empress also writes little love letters to young men like Xue Huaiyi, Shen Nanliao, Zhang Yizhi, and Zhang Changzong!
Suddenly, the holographic card projected a top-tier female version of a domineering dragon robe fashion show. The skill bar read "Imperial Examination Inventor" and "A Multitude of Cruel Officials and Wise Ministers." The miniature copper slip was incredibly cute, wrapping the Empress's feet in warm comfort. Engraved on it was the domineering young lady's coquettish expression: "Heaven and Earth, please stop slandering China's powerful female emperor~"
Sizi discovered that another blind box was even more amazing! The moment she opened it, she was overwhelmed by the smell of alcohol. The wildly cursive handwriting on the slip of paper writhed like a drunken snake. The clue card even had a sarcastic caption: "A social cow from Suyab, a socially awkward guy who made Gao Lishi carry his shoes, a cute idiot who tried to catch the moon but ended up drowning himself!"
The notifications on the back of the card, posted on social media, were even more lively: Du Fu was the great scholar's sleeping partner, Meng Haoran was his partner in resigning from his job, and even the imperial concubine was vying to collect his viral witty lines! A romantic wine gourd was pressed, leading everyone to wonder if it was drone technology. Finally, the mystery was revealed: a 3D map appeared in the air, and the West Market's Hu Ji Tavern was plastered with explosive stickers: "Li Bai's drunken graffiti is incredibly cool! Trade your poems for Tang tri-colored pottery? A steal!"
"Clang!" When Si Zi picked up the blind box, he almost twisted his back. This blind box was as heavy as a block of iron! The small figures on the box, embossed with armor, were dancing a war dance. The five words "Single Rider Retreats from the Uyghurs" were glaringly obvious. The old merchant from Hu was grinning mischievously beside him: "Be careful not to be blown away by the old general's imposing presence when you open this box!"
Si Zi knew who it was. Could it be Guo Ziyi? As soon as she touched the crack in the lid, a chill ran up her spine from her palm.
Si Zi stared at the silhouette of a horse galloping with a spear on the box, recalling the rumors circulating that the Tang Dynasty blind boxes contained "fragments of national destiny," and that collecting them would allow one to glimpse the undercurrents of history.
Could this heavy lump of iron truly hold the earth-shattering secret of Guo Ziyi's solo victory over the enemy? And what untold deals are hidden in the old merchant Hu's narrowed triangular eyes?